wedding woes

I was looking through my modules’ assignments and emailing tutors of my queries… was supposed to be revising through slides right now… but decided to jot down my wedding guest list.

(1)    Family = estimated 90 individuals

Mum’s side:

-          Parents (2)

-          Sherlita’s family (5)

-          Grandparents (2)

-          Uncles & Aunts & Cousins (25 max)

-          Granduncles & Grandaunts, with their families (10 max)

Dad’s side:

-          Uncles & Aunts & Cousins (35 max)

-          Granduncles & Grandaunts, with their families (10 max)

(2)    CNM Family = estimated 25 individuals

-          The usual: Wes, Rob, Kei, Rahimah, Hanah, Nilar, Joel & Ben X 2 (for their plus ones & anyone I have missed) (15 max)

-         Contemplating on whether should invite lecturers like Alex and any other previous teachers like Ms. Hafizah Osman from my pri school (10 max)

(3)    IAP Family = estimated 15 individuals

-          The usual: Fadhir, Muz, Fatma, Shikah, Parv, Fiza, Nuda & Wee X 2 (for their plus ones & anyone else they might want to bring)

(4)    Muslim Society Friends = estimated 40 individuals

-          Exco people, Ehsan’ & mine (actually I feel that I am closer to his exco! I am also glad there is inbreeding, so do not really need plus ones!) (40 max)

(5)    Polytechnic, TKGS & Primary School Friends = estimated 75 individuals

-          Poly – like Jean, Mei, Gwen (if she is still talking to me) & the 5 makciks (if I can still contact them) X 2 (for some of their plus ones – max 10)

-          TKGS – this is very tricky –  Band (10 max), 2E3 + 4E8 + other classes (30 max)

-          Pri – tricky as well in terms of contacting them – the usual – Sulin, Wan Li, Huiyin & Huiying X2 for plus ones and anyone I might have missed (15 max)

(6)    NIE Friends = estimated 62 individuals

-          The usual bunch – Kelv, Shalyn, Kerui, Weijie, Navin & Cheryl X2 for their plus ones (12)

-          Group mates – Gesl (20) + Others (20 max – may overlap)

-          Teaching friends (when I get posted) – (max 30)

(7)    NDI Friend = estimated 40 individuals

-          If it is just the Ideas & Main Comm (10 max)

-          If it is the WHOLE humanitarian group (additional 30 max)

(8)    Neighbors = estimated 10 individuals (may I will try to be less friendly)

(9)    Ehsan’s Army friends = estimated 60 individuals

(10) Ehsan’s School (VS, VJC, NUS) friends = estimated 30 individuals

(11) Ehsan’s family = estimated 90 individuals

TOTAL = 540 (rounded up)

Ah freak. The estimated was 300 individuals!

dubai trip :D

after much contemplation and discussions…  phuket was out. shikah and i decided to skip turkey (postponed!) and fatma separated from us to go to china with her sister. meanwhile, parv and fiza went to bali.

dubai our uno destination. free and easy… flight (jet airways) and accommodations (hotel grand moov) were purchased from zuji.com for around $1.2K, insurance totaled it up to $1.3K. i changed around SG$600- $700  in total for spending on food, tours and shopping.

all packed!

and so the 6 days dubai trip begins – shots in changi airport t3 & in the plane (we got biz class ).

smart comments

comments i gave in facebook today

mahr is obligatory for the man, as a form of his sincere appreciation and desire for the lady he wants to marry. it is a token of – friendship & symbol of commitment for the man to show that he is able to take care of his wife (very patriarchal in a sense!).

in my personal opinion, it will be rather insulting to put an insanely high material price on a lady (blame consumerism/capitalism?). when the intentions of the mahr goes wrong, is recklessly abused – i would see it as a form of prostituting oneself for the best buyer.

i AM gorgeously talented :p but there is no need for a price to be named for me in tangible terms.

i think the wife could choose to return her mahr back to her husband if she wishes to. but most of all, if for the sake of justifying her mahr rights n allowing her husband to show his sincerity for her, she must be reminded to not overly burden him.

read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503543426

—-

but unfortunately, a few hours later, i succumbed to frivolity and replied again with this:

AH I CHANGED MY MIND!

I still want my Tiffany Ring as the mahr and hopefully a wonderful collection that comes along with it over my marriage years hahahaha! harry winston… van cleef… cartier

AND i want Colin Cowie to be my wedding planner! a theatrical theme with splashes of white and crimson red roses. lavender scented potpourri for the guests who will be dressed in lovely lovely satin n velvety dresses and suits. sparklers and whimsical masks for the lil ones!

oh and a wonder girls’ dance! i want nobody nobody but YOU!

and finally be whisked away to the spectacular views of maldives or the caribbean.

enjoy the last week of jan all

Yeps. shamelessly materialistic :p

—

giving up.

it IS an option. it just depends on whether you are willing to receive the consequences. there are bound to be regrets yet at the same time, it may open you up to consider other options (which you priorly seem not to notice).

i.e.: you did not like arts when it was given to you, but you seem to be doing well in it, much more than your other subjects.

what matters is – you have tried your hardest, and you realized its time to let go and move on. there’s no definitive way/a definite way to live a “successful” life.

but i have to emphasize – consequences are not easy to bear. so think things throughly. make the choice not because its an easy one, but a difficult one.

—

post dubai

Updates on Dubai trip in later posts, once I get the pictures from Shikah.

So for now, some small thoughts for the day:

One of my favourite Korean variety shows is this Golden Bell Challenge. Basically students participate in it and answer a series of questions. In each question, those who answered wrongly will have to drop off from the competition. The final one standing will be able to ring the bell and participate in more regional competitions, as well as receive a month long scholarship to attend a school in America and obtain some funds for his/her school to improve upon their facilities.

Anyway, in between the questions, the will interview some students or both teachers and students will perform and do funny antics. One interview strikes me – A guy student and a girl student are best friends. The girl told the host that the guy is really aloof and lack of emotions. So if one wants to be his friend, one need to just ignore this character trait of his and continue to be the one who initiates and talks more.

The host remarked that she is one lively and outgoing girl. She told him that she was not like that all the time… and then proceeded to inform him that she used to be lonely (she was crying by this time) – no one wanted to be friends with her and she ate lunch alone in school. She also told the other students that one should not alienate another person just because they are different.

Ah yes, discrimination, people can be cruel. However, she looked quite “normal”. She reminded me of myself actually… I used to be really introverted but then I decided to change. That is why throughout my life, I refused to belong in any “cliques” or have any one singular best friend. You tend to exclude others then. I am friends with everyone who wants to be friends with me… exception are some true and proven jerks. I am the kind who will tend to talk to those quieter ones in the group or those who I sensed to be feeling a little awkward. I guess our life experiences make who we are.

—

Daily conversations with Ehsan (edited of course):

(1)

Ehsan: I have washed my car!

Arly: Did you do some Paris Hilton’s sexy poses?

Ehsan: Of course! Played with the hose, let the water run down my taut abs, flex muscles as I wipe… the girls watching went crazy!

Arly: Are you sure they are not Banglas with long hair?

Ehsan: Hehe… Banglas with long nose hair! Hahahahaha!!

(2)

Ehsan: Showered, eaten, chat with Arly… now getting ready for bed, that’s life being fulfilled for today.

Arly: Ah wait, pooping is what makes the ultimate satisfaction.

Ehsan making disagreement snorts.

Arly: Oh okay, its sex that makes the ultimate satisfaction.

Ehsan agrees readily!

adios!

one more day plus some odd hours, to my dubai trip!

got this from wee

lover

My lover writes under the glimmer of the pale moonlight. His thoughts only on his beautiful delicate princess, nothing could keep him away from his reverie. Whilst writing, momentarily he feels as if her cascading dark hair is gently touching his face… her breath is light despite being in deep slumber, dreaming of their future. A strong gust of wind blew and she shivered… he held her even closer and tighter, keeping her warm. He has to protect her. Under the blanket of the night, they lay still… both hearts beat in unison.

shit is

a post-thesis syndrome of ensuring everything is perfect (grammar and formating especially) before anything is handed up or posted.

ughhh too many mistakes in my 21 posts for 3 dec. i am going crazy!!! i shall hide them for a bit… :S

arly DO NOT edit the posts! go watch korean shows…

oh anyway, interesting – ndp2010 songs by the average singaporean.‘

but ah a cute photo to end the day

breakfast with facebook

upon waking up, i religiously clear up my emails and check my facebook updates. three interesting thots for the day:

1) how our body kills us: click

2) bombastic mr bean

3) why i need iPhone:

lil tods

Sherlita Almeyra

She’s a good conversationalist and eats A LOT (trust me on this). Extremely vain as well and always hyper (run here and jump there)… Quite demanding at times, always wants to be right.

Sherrian Aleilhan

He will seduce you with his charming smiles. Able to speak simple words and phrases…. enjoys talking to himself and humming to the music… Cries so ever the sadly if he is forced to shower or if we refuse to give him more yummy baby biscuits (all drama and bedek!).

So how will the youngest one look like?

Hmm…

Sherianty Alemeily

Since the mum had all three through caesarian, right after the third was born, she had ligation.

expiry

Creepy and freaky individuals when come together, are able to either traumatize or become strong pillars of support for the other.

Ok, that is mean… the part where I said they are creepy and freaky.

See, we can all be happy if we want to. We can all forgive and forget if we try hard enough to. After all blood runs thicker than water. Family bonds are forever. Are they really?

I am so sick of hearing about those. Ah, the bitterness of being betrayed by someone you thought you could rely upon.

Yes, I do have issues.

So here comes my theory – every relationship has an expiry date. I am hesitant to apply it to family members because the networks tend to be stronger… so let’s be more specific, every friendship has an expiry date.

Posted it as a Facebook nickname and some interesting points to ponder upon:

- My “friends have an expiry date” THEORY. it may sound crude but i do not believe in the notion of friends forever. certain people are closer to you during certain periods and as easily, they will fade away from you when the time comes for them to. so treasure the “limited” moments you have with each other, because the expiry date may come soon and you may be helpless about it.

- I don’t believe in the expiry date theory. If they can fade away, then they were never friends to begin with – they were just acquaintances.
Acquaintances come and go in your life. Situations bring you together, you add them in FB, and then when things change, they’ll just be another icon in your ‘friends’ page.

Real friends are always ‘there’, no matter whether time and circumstance puts a gulf in between. You may have no time to meet, lose touch, have different life paths, or the various other disturbances that cn break a relationship – but all you have to do is to reach out, and you’ll be surprised at how the relationship is still as stable as ever.

- Somehow (due to modernization?) it is supposed to get easier to maintain relationships (technology and transportation better sort) but the relationships have the tendency to be like hi and bye… not very deep… or we are just taking for granted that “since you are in my msn or Facebook”, you are my “friend” and i do not necessarily need to talk to you.

Another point is that – we tend to meet different sort of people in different phases of our lives. its not really easy to maintain too many relationships… so i suppose we DO prioritize those who can “benefit” or help us function better in our lives. and we will try to avoid those that pull us back.

—-
Touche.

I DO love my family members and friends. They are odd and quirky, but great individuals nevertheless. Always there for me most of the time. Always offering a kind word and never ceasing with encouragement. I am glad I have them.

We will constantly change the structure of our “support network” (family, friends and acquaintances).

For me, I am quite apprehensive to have this “in-law” extended into mine.

Ah damn those Korean dramas that portray evil mother-in-laws! – They expect you to be the best for their sons, yet at the same time they will always think you are never good enough for their sons.

So you have to be mindful of your manners and behaviors. Incessantly panic over one negative comment. (I am already hating this role despite not even starting it! But what choice do I have?)

In other words, you become a totally different person – a decent and boring one at that. Never show your wilder side, do not take the risks… oh wait, you are supposed to be plain and normal AND at the same time, interesting and unique.

Crazy one this one. Schizo.

Ah the need to be liked and accepted. Why is it so important?

Cross fingers and hope for miracles :X

Ok fine, kind mother-in-laws DO exist.

Hmm maybe I have such an informal and outrageously (improper) communication standards with my own family members… that I find others to be too rigid and proper (conforming?). That suffocates me!

Let me define what is improper with an example – with your own family you can run around from one end of the room to the other, with just a towel draped around you. You could at the same time, be singing loudly at the top of your voice. Then you squeeze and tickle your little niece and nephew. That is proceeded by you suddenly pretending to be a monster and start chasing after them. Yes, still with only a towel draped around you.

For now, I just feel so out of place. I want to be myself but somehow I know I can’t.