smart comments

comments i gave in facebook today

mahr is obligatory for the man, as a form of his sincere appreciation and desire for the lady he wants to marry. it is a token of – friendship & symbol of commitment for the man to show that he is able to take care of his wife (very patriarchal in a sense!).

in my personal opinion, it will be rather insulting to put an insanely high material price on a lady (blame consumerism/capitalism?). when the intentions of the mahr goes wrong, is recklessly abused – i would see it as a form of prostituting oneself for the best buyer.

i AM gorgeously talented :p but there is no need for a price to be named for me in tangible terms.

i think the wife could choose to return her mahr back to her husband if she wishes to. but most of all, if for the sake of justifying her mahr rights n allowing her husband to show his sincerity for her, she must be reminded to not overly burden him.

read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503543426

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but unfortunately, a few hours later, i succumbed to frivolity and replied again with this:

AH I CHANGED MY MIND!

I still want my Tiffany Ring as the mahr and hopefully a wonderful collection that comes along with it over my marriage years hahahaha! harry winston… van cleef… cartier

AND i want Colin Cowie to be my wedding planner! a theatrical theme with splashes of white and crimson red roses. lavender scented potpourri for the guests who will be dressed in lovely lovely satin n velvety dresses and suits. sparklers and whimsical masks for the lil ones!

oh and a wonder girls’ dance! i want nobody nobody but YOU!

and finally be whisked away to the spectacular views of maldives or the caribbean.

enjoy the last week of jan all

Yeps. shamelessly materialistic :p

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giving up.

it IS an option. it just depends on whether you are willing to receive the consequences. there are bound to be regrets yet at the same time, it may open you up to consider other options (which you priorly seem not to notice).

i.e.: you did not like arts when it was given to you, but you seem to be doing well in it, much more than your other subjects.

what matters is – you have tried your hardest, and you realized its time to let go and move on. there’s no definitive way/a definite way to live a “successful” life.

but i have to emphasize – consequences are not easy to bear. so think things throughly. make the choice not because its an easy one, but a difficult one.

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shit is

a post-thesis syndrome of ensuring everything is perfect (grammar and formating especially) before anything is handed up or posted.

ughhh too many mistakes in my 21 posts for 3 dec. i am going crazy!!! i shall hide them for a bit… :S

arly DO NOT edit the posts! go watch korean shows…

oh anyway, interesting – ndp2010 songs by the average singaporean.‘

but ah a cute photo to end the day

talent or trickster?

 

A person I knew S, was two timing F & N for the past 2-3 years. When he was out with F, he would insist that he and N were over, when in truth, he still was dating N and seeing her every day. Similar story in reversed way was told to N about F. So these two rather silly and naïve girls hated the other to their guts. He was so suave in his lies and would treat them like princesses. They were insanely in love with him and placed him high on a pedestal – him to lord over their emotions and trust.

So Fate decided to overturn his enormous table of lies. N frustrated by certain comments received in his Facebook, decided to get things straight with F. The girls met and realized how deep a shit hole of lies they were in and plotted a way to confront S – yes, it involved hitting, thrashing his room and electrocuting his laptop to death – ah, he was screwed. Yet all the way to the end, he did not really show any signs of remorse and was still trying to convince each girl that the other was lying.

Ah did I tell you, he has an “ex-girlfriend” box, evidences of his conquests.

That is the story in a nutshell… a feedback from Ehsan that lead me to this entry:

I would never cheat on you, love you too much. But I wonder; S was not having sex with either girl. So why cheat on them and risk being found out? Is he just starved for emotional attention? Because that was all he got. In retrospect, his way of ‘cheating’ is how many girls do it; with the mind and not the body.

In a small way Ehsan is wrong because he assumes males desire for sexual benefits rather than emotional attachment. I feel that, males equally feel inadequate and insecure – making it worse, society has always demand males to show a tough and resilient exterior – no signs of “weak” emotions allowed.

However, I feel Ehsan rightly pointed S’s bizarre symptoms that may unravel plenty of underlying problems.

In my conversations with S, I figured that he has too many brothers that outshone him and his relationship with his parents were not close, perhaps even, they did not spend as much one to one time to nurture and understand him. I have a feeling that his parents may be the traditional, patriarchal typified family, widening the gulf. He told me that he was brought up by his female cousins.

I suppose he yearned for constant emotional attachment, specifically from females – as I figured he would have issues with being close to males – he is unable to compete with the egos of all the other males in his family. Hence, he clung on to N & F like a blood sucking leech – even if it meant lying to them all the time.

I also figured that, since he still has ANOTHER girlfriend, apart from N & F – this is a long distance relationship – she may actually be his first love. Perhaps she cheated on him before or that she requested for an open relationship where they both could freely date others or similar to him, she prefers casual dating as compared to being committed to just one. I feel that he does not really want an open relationship, but perhaps his ego or his claim to be very open-minded made him agree to it. Therefore, I am assuming that during their conversations (when they meet up), they would share stories of their conquests – he has to create relationships to prove to her that he is as “capable” in that area.

I have never seen anyone who has lied AND able to get away with it so many times and take those he claimed to care about, for granted. In truth, the only person he actually loves is himself. All his ex-girlfriends were just accessories to glorify himself – his conquests. The thrill of being liked, at the expense of forming any real relationships with others – I pity him.

Interestingly, I did have a hunch that S could not be trusted and I told him that. I do admit that for a while i was awed and interested by him, his fun, mysterious and “charming” ways. He is like a magician, able to delude you with his tricks and gain the admiration of many. However over time, his conversations became rehearsed and full of merry go rounds, incomprehensible – he is able to weave out the truth and weave in versions that sound like the truth.

A talent. A trickster.

Ehsan also told me that, the girls themselves deserved to be led by. Like an abusive relationship, both parties need to be willing to put themselves in the predicament. They were warned by others yet still proceeded to let him have a hold over them.

I am just glad that my first love is a true one and hope it would always be

choices

Do we chase lofty dreams every day?

Or maybe since those are our dreams, then we somehow try to find some superior meanings in them.

I was talking to a friend the other day – on choices. She believes it is up to us to make the choices in our lives, and along with each choice comes pros and cons. Pros being, we chose it because we believe it could benefit us in certain ways. Cons, the negative consequences or baggage that comes with it – you cannot have all things perfect all the time. Some sacrifices are needed, I suppose.

However, I feel that, these “choices” are actually in pretence – to enable us to have a sense of autonomy and independence. In actual, we really do not have that much of a choice, our choices are on a limited platform. Society make us believe that some options in each of our choices are more justified than others, to exist and be there in making our logical judgments on them. How we “logically” select our choices and put value in each of them, are constructed by our culture and upbringing as well.

There are these “other and fearful” choices that we either dare not think about or do not exist at all in our “vocabulary” system. We do not know of their existence or may be made to feel afraid to think too much on them – “it can never happen” mentality.

It seems that a (Influential? Famous? Powerful?) small proportion of the population may have more varied and exotic options on their plates… more so than others. For instance, the choices given to Paris Hilton will be far more exclusive than what an average Joe may have. If you look back, you will realize she has the money and status – the privilege to enjoy those exclusive options.

Does having more options then, reflects the amount of power you have?

Perhaps.